Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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