so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
