I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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