Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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