dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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