She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
this beer tastes like vomit already
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
