I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
