soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize