We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
