Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
