You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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