it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
