id be glad to
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
