Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize