playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
