So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
