this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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