i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
