I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Nicole vs. Life
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
