I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
