I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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