Me. At least after what I've been through.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
