Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
