Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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