he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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