Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
