who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
