just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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