Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
