I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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