oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
