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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
