who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
