Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
