saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
