This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
