I think my fart just growled at me.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize