Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
