I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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