I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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