you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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