It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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