I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
