yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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