I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
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I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
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Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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