There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
