Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize