woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize