You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My vagina is very pro this idea
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
