I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
