he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
