I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You pole danced in your parka.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
