i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
