I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize