I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
