i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
