I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
