I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize