U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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