I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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