i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She just used a chaser for red wine.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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