So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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