Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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