i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
